The Reality Of Jesus

Above my desk is a picture frame divided into four sections. These quadrants are filled with images of Christ’s life. We see Jesus washing feet, praying in the garden, hands tied behind his back, and carrying his cross. These are all images that reflect the final days of Christ’s life. These are pictures that in some sort of way remind me what his life was like.

As I look at these images and think about who I am, think about what I’ve done, and consider the road I have walked, I can’t help but feel pain in my heart. Maybe that pain comes from the reality of the task that I am to take part in. Perhaps I realize what I should be and have not lived up to. Possibly my pain comes from the knowledge that he did so much and I have done so little. In each section, each quadrant, I observe the one who paid such a price for me. I notice the one who lived and died and gave me an example to follow.

Death. This is what he called me to. Yes, he called me to faith, to love, to obedience, and to many other things as well. But, he also called me to death. Can I drink the cup he drank? Even writing about it makes me sound either super-spiritual or super-delusional. I cannot even say what I am called to without questioning my motives or thinking to myself “Have you lost your mind?” And yet, the reality remains. Christ has called us to death.

I’m not a big fan of dying. The times I have seen death have been burdensome to me. When I have experienced the loss of my pride, the loss of my friendships, or the loss of my dreams, I have felt this death creeping into my life almost as a shadow of the things to come. No one wants to lose those things closest to them. As I read Christ’s words, I cannot help but think that so much of Christianity is about loss. To be honest with you, I’m in my early thirties, healthy, saved, with a family, and I’ve already tasted enough death to want to move on from this world. I can’t imagine what so many face on a daily basis.

My faith looks ridiculous to those who taste death daily. And yet, I have tasted enough to know that the death I am called to is so much scarier than I ever dreamt. This death is not just the loss of life, but the loss of freedoms, the loss of pride, the loss of relationships, the loss of dreams, the loss of finances, and the loss of power. For Christ’s sake can I give up these things? Believe me, I have not tried to lose these things and have sought to protect them. But as I have begun saying “you don’t have to go looking for the grim reaper, he will come looking for you.” Around every turn I discover more and more loss, whether I want it or not.

Today was a hard day for me. Like most hard days, the things bothering me were not as large or painful as Jesus faced on a daily basis. The things I faced today were not as difficult as you have faced. It wasn’t much dying today, just a little. A little loss here, a little pain there. Just a good reminder of what he did and what we are called to.

Death.